The Woman of My Youth

I was faithless to the woman of my youth, Not because she failed me—I was running from the truth. God witnessed our covenant; I treated it as chains, Then blamed her for the darkness I was harboring in shame. I traded what was sacred for the shelter of a lie, Too proud to face the damage, far too frightened to ask why. She wasn’t my accuser; my own choices stood accused. I rejected what God gave me—and the woman of my youth. God, forgive the man who ran From the covenant he knew. Teach me how to honor now The woman of my youth. I cannot claim her heart again Or choose what she must do. But I can spend the life that’s left Being faithful, kind, and true. She loved me through the distance, through my actions and my words, Through every selfish sentence and the damage it incurred. Her love crossed every boundary I created when I ran, While mine collapsed beneath me like a house upon the sand. I called my feelings covenant, then fled when love grew hard. She carried what was sacred while I left it bruised and scarred. Her love remained a shelter with no shelter in return— Mine only saw the blessing, never what devotion earned. Her love was built to stand. Mine was sinking sand. She reached across the distance. I would not take her hand. You kept reaching. I kept leaving. You spoke true. I blamed you. You reached for me when I was living at my worst, When every lie I sheltered only deepened every hurt. When I could not face myself or name what I had done, You answered my deception with the truth I tried to run from. You never called my darkness light or helped me hide the blame. You spoke the truth with kindness and still called me by my name. You reached across the distance I created when I flew— Thank you for being true when I could not be true to you. I will not turn my gratitude into another claim, Or make the love she gave me bear the burden of my shame. I’ll thank God for her character, her mercy, and her grace, For every time her honesty made darkness show its face. Thank You for the life she gave, the years she sacrificed, For the heart that she devoted when I would not honor Christ. I cannot pay the debt of love or mend what I abused— I can only live in gratitude for the woman of my youth. God, forgive the man who ran From the covenant he knew. Teach me how to honor now The woman of my youth. I cannot claim her heart again Or choose what she must do. All I have the right to offer Is my gratitude and truth. You were covenant When I was sinking sand. You kept reaching through the distance When I would not take your hand. Father, bless the heart that loved me When I could not love in truth. Thank You for the life You gave me Through the woman of my youth.