All These Years Later

All these years later, Your mercy brought us here. Her embrace still feels like home, Even when the road disappears. When her arms close around me, Every mile falls away. Lord, I know I never earned this. Let me honor it today. Where do we go when the road is gone? When the bridge gives way and the night drags on? If courage is a place, I may never arrive, But I’ll take one trembling step while You keep me alive. If I’m shaking when I hold her, let the reason be clear: It’s the weight of all this love after wasting those years. I said I would stay. I said I’d never give up. Then the darkness closed around me—and I wasn’t enough. I cannot hold her closely without feeling the cost, Or thank You for this moment without grieving what was lost. So if courage is trembling and choosing not to flee, Let the man inside her arms be the man You’re making me. She held the promise When I couldn’t believe. You kept reaching through her When I wanted to leave. She looked with compassion Instead of contempt. Lord, I cannot earn it— But I’ll honor what You kept. If tomorrow never comes, Let her know I chose truth today. I would never choose the road That took me far away. If three words can reach the place Where my silence wounded you: I love you. I’m still here with you. I’m sorry for the man I was, the damage that he made, For every careless word and every promise I betrayed. Who I am today grieves him, but grief alone won’t heal, So teach me how repentance becomes something she can feel. No explanation makes an old wound disappear. No apology restores every stolen year. Mercy isn’t license, and grace is not escape. It’s waking every morning and refusing yesterday. Father, make me faithful when the feeling isn’t strong. Make my arms a refuge when the whole world feels wrong. Let the man that she sees now be honest, gentle, true. Let every day You give me say, “I still choose you.” If the proof takes every year that still remains to me, Let obedience become the change I promised her I’d be. Do we stay? Do we go? God, don’t let fear decide. If we stay, Let us heal. If roads divide, Stay by her side. If I could live it all again, I’d never go. I’d stay through every shadow And the silence we both know. I’d spend my life becoming Who You called me to be— Not worthy of her mercy, But surrendered at Your feet. If tomorrow never comes, Let her know I chose her today. Not with another promise— With a life that learned to stay. If three words can reach the heart I once left bruised and confused: I love you. I’m still looking for you. Maybe courage isn’t somewhere I will finally arrive. Maybe courage is the trembling Of a heart You kept alive. All these years later, Her embrace still feels like home. You rebuilt the missing road, Lord— And I will never walk alone.