Build What You Want

I kept asking You to rebuild everything I lost, To recreate the former life regardless of the cost. But that house held my secrets underneath a painted wall, And the kingdom I constructed was already bound to fall. I built upon my feelings, pride, and what I thought I knew, Then asked You to restore it when the wreckage came in view. I don’t want a replica of everything I crossed— Father, build the life You want, not only what I lost. Build what You want, Whatever it may cost. Don’t rebuild the kingdom That my selfish choices lost. Root me in the truth. Ground every step in love. I don’t need the life I planned— Father, build what You want. Remove the sin that wraps around my ankles when I run, Every hidden appetite that pulls me from the Son. Strip away the weight I carried, every secret I concealed, Every pattern I protected kept the damage unrevealed. I cannot run with endurance while embracing what enslaves, I cannot build with living stones while sleeping among graves. So turn my eyes to Jesus when the former life calls back— The Author who began my faith will finish what I lack. Tear out the anger That sharpened my blame. Tear out the bitterness Feeding my shame. Tear out the pride That put me above. Tear out the lust That betrayed covenant love. I grew angry at the wreckage while ignoring who struck first, Then fed bitterness with memories until I fed the curse. I hated what my choices cost, despised the man I’d made, Then turned that self-contempt on those already left betrayed. I made consequences enemies and grief became a blade, As though punishing myself could heal the damage I had made. But anger cannot resurrect, and bitterness won’t mend— They only keep destruction moving long after choices end. I will not call self-hatred Repentance anymore. The cross has named my every sin And grace has opened up the door. Teach me grief without destruction. Teach me sorrow without shame. Teach me how to face the ruins Without cursing my own name. Where lust once ruled, Build covenant love. Where bitterness grew, Plant joy from above. Where anger kept its hold, Let peace restore my soul. Where pride claimed every throne, Teach surrender to You alone. Build what You want, Whatever it may cost. Don’t rebuild the kingdom That my selfish choices lost. Root me in the truth. Ground every step in love. Lay Christ as the Cornerstone— Father, build what You want. Love where lust had made its home. Joy where bitter roots had grown. Peace where anger ruled my soul. Surrender where I took control. Christ, remain the Cornerstone— And build what You want.