You Called Me Son

I won't erase the good because the ending left a scar; You helped me turn toward Jesus when I'd wandered from His heart. I found a place to serve, a place where broken men could grow; That's why it cut so deep when I had nowhere left to go. I stood beside the flock when you were healing, needing rest; I kept on serving through the grief I carried in my chest. I wasn't asking you to make my whole life disappear; I needed you to hear the ones I love and draw them near. Friendship only shows in adversity. When being there costs more than words. I knew the love we shared in serving; I needed it when serving hurt. You called me son... Why couldn't you meet with one of my own? You said that I was family; Why did I have to hurt alone? Jesus, You hear the words he won't; You see the ones he passed by. Hold me when my voice gives out, And let the truth testify. You crossed the bounds I put in place, then called it loving care; I learned that fear can save its face by dressing up as prayer. I heard you say you loved me; I remember saying it too; The love I had was real, and so was what I needed you to do. I wasn't just a worker with a Sunday left to fill; I was a man whose family needed shepherding and still, The questions kept returning, with so much left unexplained; A message saying "love you" couldn't carry all that pain. I don't know how to mourn you While you're still there preaching. I still remember what You gave me, Jesus, Through the man I'm grieving. Can I thank You for the good And tell You where it broke? Can You hold the love I had Without asking me to choke? You called me son... Why couldn't you meet with one of my own? You said that I was family; Why did I have to hurt alone? Jesus, You hear the words he won't; You see the ones he passed by. Don't let me bury what was good; Don't let the wound become a lie. I didn't need a perfect father. I needed care when life got hard. Father, hear the son still asking. Hold this broken heart.