What Is Next

Lord, show me what is next. I have nothing left to claim. I can’t undo the years behind me. I can’t take away their pain. If there’s purpose in repentance After everything I’ve wrecked, Take whatever life is left in me. Lord, show me what is next. I inherited chaos, then passed on the pain. Swore I would end it, then gave it a name. Carried old wars into rooms meant for peace. Called it protection while fear spoke through me. Two vows lie broken behind where I stand. Two homes bear the marks of who I am. My daughters learned burdens they never should know. I planted the hurt I was desperate not to grow. I can trace every fracture through blood and through years— From the wounds that made me to the wounds I put here. Good intentions don’t heal what my choices have done. Being sorry today cannot change who I was. I was wounded, Father… Then I became a wound. Now I’m standing in the silence Of every broken room. You forgive, but You never call evil good. You restore, but not always the life that I would. I’m done asking mercy to hide what I’ve wrecked. I’m here in the ruins… Lord, show me what is next. Lord, show me what is next. I have nothing left to claim. I can’t undo the years behind me. I can’t take away their pain. If there’s purpose in repentance After everything I’ve wrecked, Take whatever life is left in me. Lord, show me what is next. An apology cannot give childhood back. A changed man can’t erase every memory they have. And repentance is not making wounded hearts stay To watch me become who I should have been. I won’t make my sorrow another weight they must hold. I won’t ask them to heal me. Teach me love without access. Faith without praise. Teach me to keep changing when no one feels safe. If they never come nearer, make me trustworthy still. If I never see healing, keep bending my will. If the proof takes a lifetime, then give me the years. Let obedience speak when no audience hears. I cannot be the father they needed back then. I cannot return and begin it again. But I’m still their father—so show me somehow Who You require me to become for them now. BREAK MY NEED… TO BE UNDERSTOOD! BREAK MY DEMAND… TO BE CALLED GOOD! IF CONSEQUENCE IS PART OF THE ROAD… WALK ME THROUGH IT! DON’T LET ME GO! DON’T LET REGRET BECOME MY EXCUSE! DON’T LET THE WOUNDED MAN KEEP MAKING WOUNDS! If what is next is distance… Teach me to love across it. If what is next is silence… Change me where no one sees. If what is next is living Without the restoration I imagined… Keep me on my knees. I don’t need You to give the old life back. I need You to keep me from wasting what remains. I cannot become who they needed yesterday… So show me who to become today. Lord, show me what is next. I have nothing left to claim. I can’t undo the years behind me. I can’t take away their pain. If there’s purpose in repentance After everything I’ve wrecked, Take whatever life is left in me. Lord, show me what is next. I don’t know what is next. But I know I cannot lead. I have followed fear for long enough. Father… You lead me. No more kingdoms. No more running. No claiming I know best. Whatever life is left in me is Yours. Lord… Show me what is next.