Sleep Don't Come Easy

Sleep don't come easy when the night knows your name, when the dark starts breathing like a long-dead flame. I lay my body down, but my mind stands guard, back against the wall with a battle-scarred heart. Every little creak sounds heavier than it should, every passing car rolls thunder through the wood. I count the hours like rounds in a magazine, trying to find peace in the space between. I'm tired in my bones, but my blood won't rest, got a war still pacing underneath my chest. The room is safe, but I can't convince my skin that nobody is coming through the door again. I know I'm safe. I know I'm here. But my body remembers Everything I fear. Sleep don't come easy For a man who learned the night. Dreams turn into fire, And silence feels like fight. I close my eyes, But I'm still on watch. Still hearing what is gone. Sleep don't come easy When the war keeps holding on. I've seen morning come like mercy through the blinds, after wrestling ghosts that never left my mind. Coffee in my hands, ache in my jaw, trying to act normal after all I saw. People say rest like it's something I can choose, like I haven't begged God for a night I wouldn't lose. But some prayers crawl out broken and thin, when the body keeps fighting what the soul survived within. I don't want to live forever looking over my shoulder, I don't want every quiet moment to feel like a warning. Lord, teach me the difference between staying alive and finally learning how to rest. Lord, teach my hands They don't have to clench. Teach my lungs They can breathe again. Teach this heart That the watch is done. That I don't have to fear The rising sun. Let the dead rest Where Your mercy keeps them. Let the living rise From the valley deep. Give me one clean night Beneath Your covering. Give this wounded soldier sleep. Sleep don't come easy For a man who learned the night. Dreams turn into fire, And silence feels like fight. But morning still finds me. Grace still carries on. The war keeps speaking, But it doesn't get the final word. Sleep don't come easy, But I'm still holding on. Sleep may come slowly, but I'll meet it someday, when the old alarms start fading away. Till then I'll keep breathing, keep naming what's true, I made it through the fire and I'm making it through. I'm not weak for the nights that break me down, not lost when the memories circle around. I'm still here when the morning starts showing, still wounded, still tired, but still going.